Sunday, 20 April 2014

7 Facts You Didn't Know About Aamir Khan The Perfectionist

Aamir Khan’s perfectionism is legendary. Apparently, he compares photocopies with the original document just in case.

That he is a conscientious actor is also well known. As a teen, he was never found sitting on a ladies’ seat in a bus. He preferred to lie instead, friends narrate.

What is not so well-known is Aamir’s involvement in some of the celestial, mythical and mytholigical events that shaped the world we live in.

Cutting a long story short, below are the 7 Facts You Didn't Know About Aamir Khan The Conscientious Perfectionist:

1. When Moses parted sea, an unimpressed Aamir said it was far from a perfect job as the left part contained .025 litre more water than the right.

2. Aamir censured God for creating the world in six days, pointing out several flaws and demanding an explanation for His baffling haste in what was His most important project. "I often find six days inadequate to decide whether to put a dot at the end of my autograph or underline it and here you..."

3. Aamir criticised Jesus Christ for resurrecting without giving a notice, saying it could have been a nasty shock for the old people with heart ailments in Nazareth.

4. Aamir severely rebuked Noah for using gopherwood to build his boat when even a kid knows carbon fibre is a far better option. He demanded an unconditional apology from Noah for risking the lives of the precious animals all current animals owe their existence to.

5. Unicorns didn't simply vanish off the face of the earth. Aamir wrote a strongly-worded letter to God questioning the logic and aesthetics behind creating what was essentially a horse-with-a-horn, prompting Him to recall the whole batch of the creature.

6. Aamir delayed Hanuman's return with medicine from Gandhamadan Hills, asserting Sanjivani and Vishalya Karani were not to be sold over-the-counter. He insisted on seeing Dr Sushen's prescription, leading to a fracas which ended with Hanuman lifting the whole hill, along with Aamir, back to where Laxman lay unconscious.

7. Aamir invited the brave Garuda to Satyameva Jayate and asked him if he had checked if Ravana possessed a pollution-control certificate for his Pushpak Rath.

(It's an insignificant humour platform and means no disrespect to anyone. Can surely expect that much common sense? Thanks.)

Wednesday, 16 April 2014

Yama-Yudhisthir Q&A 2

As you know, the big daddy of all quiz shows featured Yudhisthir in the hot seat and Yaksha, Yama in disguise, as the quiz master.

There was no 'lifeline' and Yudhisthir still cracked the quiz. The prize was a trip to Malaysia but post-MH370, Yudhisthir got it swapped for Sodexo coupons:-

Yama: What's indecision?
Yudhisthir: Sonu Nigam's state of mind when dealing with his hair.

Yama: What's inevitable?
Yudhisthir: Alleged death in your domestic help's family coinciding with the arrival of your guests.

Yama: What's ingenuity?
Yudhisthir: Mamata Banerjee's Ph D.

Yama: What's inner voice?
Yudhisthir: Borborygmus. Or rumbling of an empty stomach.

Yama: What's insomnia?
Yudhisthir: Best anti-burglary device.

Yama: What's insolvency?
Yudhisthir: Living off neighbour's wi-fi.

Yama: Hmm. Finally, what's life?
Yudhisthir: The passage from womb to tomb.